26/6/00 7:45am QF414.

QF412 Mel 7:30am to Sydney 8:50am.
I love airports. The smell of long-brewed coffee fills the air, a caffeine hit you don't need just before being sealed in a tin with sleek fleets of uniformed business commuters (men in grey, women in navy).

JL778 Sydney 11:35am to Osaka 8:05pm (9 hours, 30 mins)
11:37am, JAL778.

Why do I always get a view of the wing? Still, I can see ahead and to the side, and any view is better than nothing. I'm wanting nobody next to me and someone nice in front, especially after my last international flight where the girl in front of me put her seat back before take-off and kept it down all fourteen hours of the flight.

Can't wait to see what the food is like.

I changed $AU450 into about £3. Ok, so it was £165 but given all I keep hearing about prices in London it might as well be £3.

$AU100 turned into ´6000 which sounds much more impressive but in reality is probably only enough to buy a beer and a chip.

11:43am Two empty seats next to me so far.

There's a British girl (shagpacker?) who's really taken the Britney Spears thing to heart. Come to think of it, Britney is just 80s British tart for the American market. Ok, she's not a tart cos she doesn't put out but she gives the impression that given half a chance and a few bevvies she'd slip you a handjob in the cloakroom.

Oh shit, the riflemen I spotted in the lounge from whatever sports team are coming! I hope I don't get them next to me (as much as I'm sure they do a fine job representing Australia in the shooting I'm not up for a long flight next to a man in love with his gun).

11:48am. Damn, someone in the end seat. Still, as long as I get to curl up and sleep over two seats I don't care.

11:50am. Oh. My. God. I just looked at the menu and it's beef or eel for lunch. What happened to the vegetarian option?

Not just any old beef - Beef Pie with Napolitan Sauce. Sounds like Japlish has found its way from signage into cooking.

Before arriving, we get chicken pastrami and honey ham. I really hope I'm down as a vegetarian meal.

None of the flight announcements seem to be in English.

At least I'll know soon if the flight safety demonstration that has Fraser coming in his pants is worth it.

2:12pm. Why do airline napkins always smell like the pepper from those little sachets?

The Great Barrier Reef really is beautiful. What is it about shades of blue and aqua that are so alluring when they're water and shore but so tacky anywhere else? Especially in fabric. Ugh.

The woman next to me looks like Gordon's sister. Wouldn't that be awkward?

I can't get the tape to go in on my video camera. My career as a short film-maker lies in ruins, over before it started.

I have a fat belly, thanks to the money belt. If I were to give birth now I'd spew forth pounds and yen. Could be a money spinner, must see about getting some venture capital.

I'm still not excited about my trip, as much as I am enjoying the flying. I guess I haven't really had time to think about the bits that are just me travelling around before I meet up with Fraser.

I'm trying to work out how much my ´6000 is worth from the duty-free ads on the screen (don't they believe in showing movies on JAL?). I can buy exactly one bottle of 17 year old whisky, or quite a few Disney t-shirts.

The Japanese TV news had a report on the election, and it detailed which provinces had ballot stuff-ups, where the wrong ones were given out, etc. The apologies were deep and profound. You'd never get that in Australia.

We should be heading over Port Moresby later, according to the route map. It seems to bypass Guam.

I can't remember the Japanese for please and thank-you and it's really annoying me. Must learn before I fly back.

8:14pm. For some reason, I'm always paranoid that I'm doing the wrong thing on flights. I feel an undertone of patronisation in the tones of the attendants - maybe because the first time I flew international the hostesses were all American and it was my first encounter with that intense brand of niceness they inflict on you.

We are *so* meant to be there by now. [Actually, I'd just forgotten about crossing a time zone]. I'm wondering if I'll be brave enough to get into Osaka proper or just play with my camera in the hotel. I wonder what I can get with my JAL frequent flyer points when I get back.

Ooh! Turbulence in ten minutes. Maybe this means we're getting closer to land.

It's dusk outside. Hopefully I'll see pretty lights as we come in. Didn't get to see PNG (probably under cloud) or Gaum, unless it was by chance - I saw a flattish brown but not too small island at one stage. The blinds had to be down for the movie - hate that! The movie (The Straight Story) wasn't as bad as I thought it was going to be, I was pretty worried when I saw Sissy Spacek acting as a nuff. There was a bit too much twinkling of wise old-timer eyes for it to rise above the Hollywood high-schlock mark.

Some woman came up to me before and wanted to know if she knew me from somewhere, maybe from TV. I should have told her I was Katie from Popstars.

With my ´6000 I could get an apron like the ones the cabin attendants wear.

Finally, the turbulence! No sign of land yet but it's hard to see forward with the wings and it's getting too dark to see outside.

Don't tell Rach or Brig this but there's a toddler on this flight that's kinda cute, and more importantly, not screaming.

8:30pm. Video guide to Kansai. Woohoo, signs in English!

The video guide is using a rolling ball as a symbol for the passenger moving through the different stages of arrival, and when it hits different stations, they light up and make a noise like a pinball game. I like the metaphor.

Ok, so the hotel is 45 or 60 minutes from Osaka. Kobe is about 30 minutes away. The airport appears to be on an island. So I guess only time (and what time the trains run back to) will tell what I do tonight. I need a bar, I think.

>From postcards that I sent:

Postcard 1
Dear Thor (and people who read it to him!),

you get the first postcard cos you're the best!

I'm having a beer from the mini-fridge that cost me ten bucks, but it's worth it cos I need a shower before I do anything. It's 9pm but really humid and 25 C.

The hotel is on an island and Osaka is at least 45 minutes away so I don't think I'll make it there especially as the trains don't run that late. Even the coffee in the hotel costs, luckily I stashed food on the plane. You can watch all 16 channels at once on the tv so I might do that for a bit. You can check out by tv! Woohoo, just found the air conditioner! Did I mention it's hot and sticky?

Ok, only an hour and a half to hit the hotel bar, I'm outta here. Video at a store near you soon!

Postcard 2
Ok, so I found the hotel bar, then lost my room (when I went back to get something to write/read), then lost the bar. But I've finally managed to have something to do and something to drink. It's really hot so I have an excuse, and I'm drinking Guinness which is full of vitamins. The view from the bar is strange, I guess we're looking towards the mainland but there are big barges with towering light thingies. [No idea what I was really looking at but the mainland was over the other side of the island.]

Ok, so that's not very fascinating. The Japanese are very polite, but that doesn't stop the guys looking you up and down (and I know this is really going to annoy me in Turkey). They're a bit suss on a girl out by herself, too. Other things: this bar doesn't sell wine by the glass, my beer (stubbie) was ´750 which is more than $AU10. Still, it's this or sit in my room or wander the airport. I have yet to see the shopping or eating but I think I can eat breakfast in the Japanese restaurant or the buffet so I'll stuff my face there. Again with the fascinating trivia!

10:30pm Kansai, some bar (the only one open).

Oh my god. Someone just tried to pick me up (or buy me a drink, at least) with a message written on a book of matches brought over by the bellboy. Suddenly, I'm in a movie.

I was about to say that I'd written two postcards and to get the goss off them but I'll save time and say that people seemed a bit suss of a girl out by herself - here's proof!

I think it said "they say that 'imitation is the sincerest form of flattery' - care for a drink?" but I was really too shocked to take it in. I can't really see the guy but he looked Japanese and he's wearing a suit so maybe that makes him a stereotypical Japanese businessman.

So things are more exciting than I thought, but it's a bit much to deal with on top of all the travelling. This is definitely my last drink!

At least my camera works, it was just that I didn't have a battery on it yet so that cassette compartment didn't open up. And I didn't even have to ask for a transformer, the bathroom in the hotel has a European one built into the wall.

And I just realised why Australian power points have two slots on an angle instead of vertical - it makes plugs less likely to fall out. I love things that work like that - arches built by the Romans rock in that sense.

At least this trip I've managed to record a thought more profound (more verbose, at least) than "I am in America".

I guess I always expect things to feel more different when I'm travelling, and they rarely do. The States was stranger because it was like home but different in small, unexpected ways.

(Some guy came over and tried to chat me up, I'm guessing it was the matchbook guy).